1
00:00:00,411 --> 00:00:02,994
(upbeat music)

2
00:00:08,980 --> 00:00:11,820
-: Hello, my name is Rachel Atkins.

3
00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:13,630
I'm a playwright and a teaching artist,

4
00:00:13,630 --> 00:00:17,640
and this is a lesson to help you write your own play.

5
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,660
In this lesson, we're going to be looking

6
00:00:19,660 --> 00:00:22,600
at ways to make your dialogue really powerful,

7
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,480
the things that characters say to one another.

8
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,600
If you did my last lesson with me,

9
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:31,130
you wrote a scene using really limited dialogue,

10
00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:32,980
so today you're gonna get to do something new

11
00:00:32,980 --> 00:00:36,530
with that scene, adding onto it using these tips.

12
00:00:36,530 --> 00:00:38,070
If you didn't do that lesson with me,

13
00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:40,040
that's totally fine, you'll still be able

14
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,853
to use these tips in your writing.

15
00:00:42,950 --> 00:00:47,950
So, here are my tips for using really powerful dialogue.

16
00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:51,920
Number one, have characters address each other

17
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,000
by their names, or their titles.

18
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:58,780
So Mom, Officer, Doctor, these things help your audience

19
00:00:58,780 --> 00:01:01,110
know who those characters are

20
00:01:01,110 --> 00:01:03,010
and what their relationships might be.

21
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:08,450
Number two, use nouns, be specific.

22
00:01:08,450 --> 00:01:11,940
Have your characters say what they're actually talking about

23
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:14,010
instead of just using pronouns,

24
00:01:14,010 --> 00:01:16,560
like it, or that.

25
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,030
I want you to listen to the difference

26
00:01:18,030 --> 00:01:20,900
between these two lines, and notice what you get

27
00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:24,490
by adding more specificity to your language.

28
00:01:24,490 --> 00:01:27,500
Version one, can I have that?

29
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:31,990
Version two, Mom, could you please pass the maple syrup?

30
00:01:31,990 --> 00:01:33,370
Listen again.

31
00:01:33,370 --> 00:01:35,000
Can I have that?

32
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,430
Mom, could you please pass the maple syrup?

33
00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:40,430
Think about what you learn in the second version

34
00:01:40,430 --> 00:01:43,190
that you didn't get in the first version.

35
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:46,900
You get a relationship, you get where they might be,

36
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:50,400
you get time of day, you get what they're doing,

37
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,870
you even get a little bit of politeness.

38
00:01:52,870 --> 00:01:55,950
All of that can be achieved just by being more specific

39
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,053
with your language.

40
00:01:58,780 --> 00:02:03,610
Tip number three, every line should add new information

41
00:02:03,610 --> 00:02:05,890
and raise the stakes.

42
00:02:05,890 --> 00:02:08,830
Raising the stakes means you create more tension,

43
00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:11,960
or you make the situation more important.

44
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,457
So for example, if one character says,

45
00:02:14,457 --> 00:02:16,570
"The volcano is erupting!"

46
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,920
Then the next character should add something

47
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,937
on to that information.

48
00:02:20,937 --> 00:02:23,870
"And the lava has almost reached our house!"

49
00:02:23,870 --> 00:02:27,760
Instead of just saying, "Oh no," or "Yeah, it is."

50
00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:30,190
You always wanna add more information,

51
00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:32,580
especially when you're writing a short play.

52
00:02:32,580 --> 00:02:36,010
You want to avoid what I call throwaway lines like,

53
00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:38,100
yeah, or oh no.

54
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:40,160
I call them throw away lines because they don't tell

55
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,500
the audience anything new.

56
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,370
You could literally pull those lines

57
00:02:43,370 --> 00:02:45,440
out of your script and throw them away,

58
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:46,760
and nobody would know the difference.

59
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,460
It wouldn't matter to your script.

60
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,810
You might also have ideas about what your characters

61
00:02:52,810 --> 00:02:55,240
are doing while they're talking.

62
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:56,740
You can add these to your script

63
00:02:56,740 --> 00:02:58,820
through stage directions.

64
00:02:58,820 --> 00:03:00,860
When you write stage directions in your script,

65
00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:02,530
you wanna put them in parentheses,

66
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:05,600
in the same line as the character's dialogue.

67
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,330
You can use stage directions to say how a character

68
00:03:08,330 --> 00:03:09,860
is feeling when they're talking,

69
00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:11,580
you can also use stage directions

70
00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:16,580
to explain what a character is doing while they're talking.

71
00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:18,930
If it's how they're feeling or what they're doing

72
00:03:18,930 --> 00:03:21,010
while they're speaking, you wanna put it

73
00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:22,440
at the beginning of the line.

74
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,510
So for example it would say, the name of the character,

75
00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:27,160
colon, and then in parentheses,

76
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,020
you'd have the stage direction,

77
00:03:29,020 --> 00:03:30,120
and then you'd have their line.

78
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,060
So it might say, Character A:, in parentheses,

79
00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:35,677
pointing, shocked, and then the dialogue,

80
00:03:35,677 --> 00:03:37,580
"The volcano is erupting!"

81
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:40,180
And then you would say the next line.

82
00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:44,120
Character B, colon, parentheses, terrified,

83
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,167
and then their dialogue.

84
00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:48,578
"And the lava has almost reached our house!"

85
00:03:48,578 --> 00:03:50,650
If you have ideas about what the characters

86
00:03:50,650 --> 00:03:53,950
are doing after they speak, you'll put your stage directions

87
00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:55,473
at the end of the line.

88
00:03:56,580 --> 00:04:00,330
So all of these tips, of being more specific

89
00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:04,160
in your dialogue, adding new information in your dialogue,

90
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,500
using your stage directions to explain

91
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:09,420
how the characters are feeling or what they should be doing,

92
00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:12,330
all of these tips can help your writing stronger.

93
00:04:12,330 --> 00:04:14,030
Here's a little reminder of everything

94
00:04:14,030 --> 00:04:14,903
that I just said.

95
00:04:16,002 --> 00:04:18,585
(upbeat music)

96
00:04:30,990 --> 00:04:33,530
So, now that you know all these ways

97
00:04:33,530 --> 00:04:35,490
to make your dialogue really clear,

98
00:04:35,490 --> 00:04:38,210
and strong, and specific, you're going to have a chance

99
00:04:38,210 --> 00:04:41,920
to revise the scene that you wrote in our last lesson

100
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,720
about the $100.

101
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,260
Again, if you didn't write that scene,

102
00:04:46,260 --> 00:04:47,093
don't worry about it.

103
00:04:47,093 --> 00:04:49,470
You can use these same tips for other writing.

104
00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:51,050
But if you did write that scene,

105
00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:53,080
I want you to use the same thing that you wrote.

106
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,900
So you're using the same characters,

107
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,820
the same objectives and conflict.

108
00:04:56,820 --> 00:04:58,570
Start with the scene that you wrote

109
00:04:58,570 --> 00:05:00,480
with that really limited dialogue,

110
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:04,130
but now you have no limits on how many words you can use,

111
00:05:04,130 --> 00:05:07,213
and you can add as many stage directions as you want.

112
00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:10,970
If you are revising the scene that you wrote last time,

113
00:05:10,970 --> 00:05:14,050
you should make an adjustment to every line

114
00:05:14,050 --> 00:05:14,883
that you wrote.

115
00:05:14,883 --> 00:05:18,890
That could be using more words in your character's dialogue,

116
00:05:18,890 --> 00:05:21,010
it could be adding stage directions,

117
00:05:21,010 --> 00:05:22,230
it could be both.

118
00:05:22,230 --> 00:05:24,310
But I wanna challenge you to try to change

119
00:05:24,310 --> 00:05:26,523
every single line in that scene.

120
00:05:27,540 --> 00:05:29,770
If you wrote that scene last time

121
00:05:29,770 --> 00:05:32,500
by passing the paper back and forth with another writer,

122
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,820
if you were doing this lesson with somebody else,

123
00:05:34,820 --> 00:05:36,300
you can do this in the same way,

124
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:37,650
where you're each still writing

125
00:05:37,650 --> 00:05:39,700
from your own character's point of view,

126
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:42,530
and you're changing your own character's line.

127
00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:44,780
If you wrote it by yourself, great,

128
00:05:44,780 --> 00:05:48,120
you're gonna do the same thing representing both characters.

129
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,910
And again, if you didn't write that scene,

130
00:05:50,910 --> 00:05:53,870
or you wanna use these ideas to write a new scene,

131
00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:55,160
that's fine too.

132
00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:56,850
You can use these tips to revise

133
00:05:56,850 --> 00:05:58,800
some other kind of writing that you did,

134
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,680
or to write a brand new scene.

135
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,050
It's up to you.

136
00:06:02,050 --> 00:06:04,780
But I'm gonna stop talking, I'm gonna let you go away

137
00:06:04,780 --> 00:06:06,750
and write your new scene.

138
00:06:06,750 --> 00:06:09,160
When you're done, you should find somebody

139
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,090
to read it out loud with you,

140
00:06:11,090 --> 00:06:14,250
because playwriting is meant to be spoken out loud,

141
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,910
it's meant to be heard and not just read on a page.

142
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,810
So if you can find someone else to read it with you, great.

143
00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:21,680
Even better if you can find two people

144
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,490
to read it for you so that you can hear your work,

145
00:06:24,490 --> 00:06:28,370
and even, to hear the difference between the first version

146
00:06:28,370 --> 00:06:31,970
and the second version of your writing, that's terrific.

147
00:06:31,970 --> 00:06:34,160
Again, my name is Rachel Atkins,

148
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,680
thank you so much for joining me,

149
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:39,019
and I hope to see you in another playwriting lesson.

150
00:06:39,019 --> 00:06:41,602
(upbeat music)